"I tried to look at the pictures again, but its like looking at an autopsy of someone you love. You immediately feel sick and you eyes heavy with tears. I had to turn away. They're on my computer, but I just can't delete them. I miss him sometimes.

Sometimes I don't even think of him all day, all week even... others I wake up and I don't even know why yet, but I'm already crying. I hated him in the end. I still do, I guess, and he deserves a lot of it.

He went crazy. He was selfish. He was a drunk. He would say the cruelest things in the world...

...but underneath it all, he was trying. He was trying to be good again. He loved me, he was just so horrible...

I left him the day he checked himself into a hospital.

By the time he got out, I was already with someone else. He kept trying to call me, I was so repulsed, it just made me hate him more.

A few months went by. sometimes I was alone, sometimes I was in another man's bed. One morning I get the call.

He just wouldn't wake up his room mate said. He just wouldn't wake up. They called it heart failure.