I'm Listening.

People only pray when things have gone horribly wrong. When the house gets foreclosed on, the drugs stop working or start working too well. The wife left or the baby died in delivery. People tend to pray when they're at the end of their rope. When you think about it, God's got a depressing job, having to listen to people whining all the time.

So, that considered, I got into the business. Hearing people's problems. It started simply, really.

When I was in high school and college, I worked the same types of jobs anyone else has: fast food, retail, some office work. I eventually ended up working as a debt collections caller. I hated the phone, and still do. What I hated worse was the treatment I received from the people I had to call. Debt collectors and repo men are perhaps the only occupation folks hate more than the IRS. People would get irate, vulgar, and crass. Others, though, would break down.

One caller, in particular was the game changer. It was one of those calls where you knew you were gonna get this guy's life story. He started crying pretty early into the call. His wife had left him for some hedge fund guy, or something like that. He hadn't been able to visit his kids in months, and his credit card bills had piled high trying to pay his bills. This part was typical. The problem was, I didn't stick to the plan. When you're working in collections, you're supposed to take every conversation back to business. But something this guy said engaged me, and we started talking about his personal life. At one point I heard him rummaging through his house, and then I heard a gunshot. He had killed himself.

Maybe it was the psych class I was taking, or maybe its that I was over my Ayn Rand phase and into my Khalil Gibran phase. I decided If I was going to talk to people on the phone about their problems, I wasn't going to bring the problems to them. I'd let them bring their problems to me.

I became a help line operator.

After awhile of "guiding" people over the phone in a state of desperation, I had my second over-the-phone suicide. At that point I decided to stop answering questions and pleas, and start listening. Just letting people speak their piece. After all this time, I've heard some interesting stories. Some horribly sad, some wretchedly insipid, and some, well, actually pretty funny. I started writing them down. Here they are.

I'm your Helpline Operator. I'm listening.